It hangs around my neck,
I am exempt from wearing a face covering
It says. I have an unseen disability!
I can’t wear a mask.
I am autistic.
As I have sensory processing
Difficulties,
The mask feels like its
Cutting into my face
Like a knife, it’s extremely painful!
And this sensation causes panic….
And I can’t breathe.
It’s leads to sensory overload
And my brain shuts down.
I have to declare to the world
That I am disabled,
How would you like to
Hang a sign around your neck,
Saying I have XYZ..private
Personal information?
Just to go into the shop
To get a loaf of bread?
My brain is wired differently,
In a world that labels anything
It does not understand a disorder!
I’m not disordered!
It is the world and it’s thinking
That is disordered…..
That every Being fits into a box.
And that every brain is the same!
The lanyard is part of Me now,
I hate it, but I accept it’s my
Pass to gain access to
A world,
Where autistic people fight for
A place to be valued as Human.
I have been shamed and degraded,
On a bus, for having it round my neck.
Accused by a bus driver for
Spreading covid, for being some
Non mask wearing bandit!
Intent on infecting everyone insight!
Passengers moved to the back
Of the bus, away from me
The covid spreading scum.
And I stood there, with no
Words coming out my mouth.
Because my brain couldn’t
Process the drivers anger
And know how to respond.
I felt like a second class citizen,
A worthless human being,
But the lanyard that hangs
Around my neck
Is a blessing as well as a curse.
For despite the shaming,
I have seen hearts open
And people smile and say
How Can I help you?
And they really mean it!
Places have become accessible
For me, as people have taken
Time to listen and help.
Simple measures like
Giving me information in written
Format,
Extra time to process new information
Turning off the music,
Turning off the lights
Speaking in clear simple language.
My brain is seen as neurodiverse
Not weird.
The lanyard is like
A window to the soul,
Of another Human being……
It brings the worst and best out
In Humanity.
For now it is my pass,
To ride the bus
And buy a loaf of bread.
But I dream of a world
Where there is acceptance of me,
And neurodiversity.
And the Lanyard will
Be consigned to the
History books.
Charley Perryn, 2021.
I wrote this poem to capture the relationship I have with the sunflower lanyard and the challenges and blessings it brings during the Covid 19 pandemic.
Such a powerful poem. Good to hear the experience of a person with the Sunflower lanyard and the reaction of people to it. Nobody has the right to question your right to wear it. Thanks for the poem.
Diversity in all its forms is to be celebrated. It makes the world a much more interesting place to live and this poem offers a greater understanding of autism in particular…. it’s joys and challenges. A beautiful perspective, beautifully written.